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Transcript:
Sometimes, your magic will bring you a lesson rather than bringing you the actual thing that you have cast the spell for.
And when we’re not aware that that is a process that is happening in our magic, we can feel like our magic has screwed up, or like our magic is actively trying to work against us.
But that is generally not the case.
I recently decided to really stretch myself in my magic and aim for something that was much bigger than anything I had tried to create in my life before.
This was in the realm of love and relationships.
So I went and I cast the Lover Drawing spell that my spirits helped me create.
I wrote out this big list, like multiple pages, of everything I wanted in a lover, and that man showed up in my life.
And when I say he showed up, I mean he was almost everything on my list.
Everything that I could determine in early phases.
There were things that I never got to find out because it didn’t last very long.
And that’s really where this story is going.
We spoke for about a week, and coming face-to-face with this person that I dreamed up in my head, this person that my soul had said, yes, I’m ready, give me the love, I want this dream relationship.
Created so much fear in my soul.
Created so much fear in me that I absolutely could not hold the relationship.
And a lot of people would look at that and say, oh, that failed.
That spell failed.
You failed.
You should just quit.
And a lot of magicians would absolutely quit at that point.
A lot of them would see, I called in this lover, and it completely destroyed my life and my emotional well-being, and I’m just going to give up.
Clearly that’s not something I’m meant to have.
Clearly that’s not something that the universe will allow me to have.
Clearly my magic is showing me that I should just stop.
And that is not the case.
That is not the case.
What actually happened was that I was shown everything I wanted on a silver platter.
And then I was asked to move through the lessons, the blocks, the things that were keeping me from being able to have and hold that relationship, that partnership.
And this isn’t like it was some kind of test.
It’s a necessary step along the path of my magic actually giving me the exact thing that I want.
My magic hasn’t failed.
My lover drawing hasn’t failed.
What it has done is it’s shown me everywhere internally that I am not ready for that relationship.
Everywhere internally where I have decided I can’t have that.
I’m not good enough for that.
I need to be better for that.
I’m too much for that.
I’m not enough for that.
All of the parts of myself that have decided that is impossible for me came up in one blinding flash.
And while that was extraordinarily painful in a lot of ways, and still is, it also showed me things about myself that I never would have learned had I not met him.
That relationship, however brief, showed me to myself in ways that nobody had ever been able to do before, because I had finally decided to stop playing small.
I had finally decided to stop settling for isolation and loneliness.
I had finally decided that I wanted real connection, real partnership.
And the inevitable result of that was finding all of the pieces of myself that were utterly terrified of that.
Now, in hindsight, I can see just how orchestrated this entire thing was.
Just how intentionally my spirits helped me connect with the exact person who would bring that out of me, who would show me all of the parts of myself that were stuck in fear and trauma and self-critical behavior.
And while it’s very easy to fall into this sense of, why would you do this to me?
Why would the universe put me through this?
Why would my spirits bring me this horrible experience, this excruciating experience?
There is a point where you have to step back and look at the experience and realize, I asked for that.
I may not have known that’s what I was asking for, but when I cast that spell, when I said, give me more than I have ever had, what I actually was asking for is help me grow beyond my current limitations.
Help me become more than I am currently.
Help me dig up all of the limiting beliefs, all of the self-hatred, all of the fear that is living inside of my soul, help me expose all of it, and show me how good it can get.
So I could get mad at this man that I had this experience with, or I could get mad at my spirits and wonder why they created this horrible experience for me.
But the truth is, I created this experience for me, right?
That’s what magic is.
It’s coming into your power.
It’s coming into a place where you say, no, I am in charge of my reality.
I am in charge of the experiences that I have.
I am in charge.
I will have a life of abundance and love and amazing experiences through my magic, through my power, through my sovereignty, because I am a witch.
I am a magician.
And when you step into the driver’s seat in that way, you stop being able to blame everyone else.
You stop being able to blame the other people around you.
You stop being able to blame your spirits or God or Source or whatever it is that you draw your power, or whatever it is that helps you, or whatever it is that you believe in.
You come into a space of realizing that all of these experiences, all of these lessons, all of these hiccups along your path are not just happening for you, but are exactly what you have asked for.
You can’t step into a life of extreme abundance, have all of the money you want, have the crazy career that you want, if inside you are deeply convinced that you are unworthy.
You can’t step into a life of incredible love and connection if inside you are so convinced that you are unlovable and so afraid of other people.
It is not possible for those two things to exist at the same time.
So when you cast a spell, and you say, give me more than I have ever had, you are actually saying, show me how to grow past these limitations.
Show me how to move through.
Magic is not for the faint of heart.
You are essentially asking to do a speedrun on all of your limiting beliefs, all of your trauma, all of your blocks.
You are saying, hey, run me directly into these problems.
And that can seem horrible, and it can seem like the exact opposite of what you want.
But if you actually want more for yourself, if you want a better life, if you want that magical, enchanted life, you are going to have to confront all of those things anyway.
You cannot have one without the other.
I am by no means at the end of this particular story.
In fact, I would say that I’m pretty much right at the beginning of it.
I have only just discovered the things that I have to heal, the things that I have to move through to be able to have the relationship that I want.
So this, for me, is a beginning, not an end.
And I fully expect there to be difficulty and hardship and pain along that path.
But I also expect it to be magical.
I expect it to be something that my spirits are helping me move through.
Magic not only brings you the lessons, it also brings you the people, the resources, the realizations and the tools that you need to move through those lessons.
The important part is not that I’ve learned everything and I’ve healed and everything is perfect and I get exactly what I want.
The important part is that I don’t stop just because I don’t have what I want yet.
The important part is that I realize the growth that needs to happen and I don’t sit and wallow and convince myself that all of this pain, this bad experience that I had, is happening to me.
All of this is happening for me because I asked for it, because I told my spirits, help me learn, help me become this person who can have this thing.
So when you are casting spells, if the experiences that you have after that are not pleasant experiences, if you’re meeting people who are putting you through growth and lessons that are really sticky and difficult, if you are being given opportunities that you cannot hold, that you are not ready for, don’t see that as your spell failing or as your spirits working against you or as God testing you or showing you that you’re not good enough.
See it as an opportunity to grow.
See it as your magic doing exactly what you have asked it to do.
Double down.
You have chosen what you want for yourself.
You have decided, this is what my reality will look like.
Don’t back down just because the path to get there is hard.
You deserve to have that reality.
You deserve to have the abundance.
You deserve to have the friends, the love, the family relationships, the career.
You deserve to have everything that you want.
And you have the tools to get it.
You just have to not quit when the lessons come up.
This is why we do shadow work as witches.
When the lessons come up, when the sticky experiences happen, when you’re in pain, when you’re confronting the fear and the limitation, don’t quit.
That is your magic working.
Updated on July 12, 2025 by Avery Hart
