Now, this isn’t to disparage the people you love. Quite the contrary! Relationships, while they may be a source of stress and occasional drama in our lives, are also the catalysts for some of our greatest growth and joy as human beings. We are social animals. Being with other people is what we live for! It’s no wonder that so many of us turn to magic to smooth over the struggles to bring out those shining moments of happiness with our people.

Why is it then that love spells are so damn hard? It seems like everyone and their grandma has a love spell, but getting them to work can be downright impossible. And when they’re not flopping and doing absolutely nothing, they’re backfiring in your face and causing even more drama in your love life! 

If you’ve experienced the fallout of a love spell gone wrong, then read on. Today I’m going to be breaking down exactly why love magic is so difficult to get right and what you can do about it.

Love Spells Are Tricky Magic

The first major hurtle with love magic is that it’s an inherently difficult type of magic. I mean, you’re dealing with people here. People who have their own wants and desires and plans for their lives that may very well not match up with what you have in mind. And controlling another person is no easy feat, not to mention a little questionable ethically.

Compounding this difficulty is the fact that all people are magical, whether they realize it or not. That’s right; it’s not just witches who are using magic! We may be consciously using these forces to our advantage but everyone, and I mean everyone, is using magic on a subconscious level. Magical energy IS human energy. There is no separating us from it; every person on the planet has magic and they are using it to create their own lives whether they know it or not. When you try to make another person do something that conflicts with what they want for themselves, you are locking yourself into a magical struggle with that person. 

Not only does this lead to energetic troubles and the likely failure of your spell, it’s probably going to cause some not so pretty results in your relationship with that person. Since we’re all plugged into magic on a basic level, that person you’ve cast a love spell on is going to feel that the two of you are fighting for control. Even if they’re not consciously aware of what they’re feeling, they’re going to start defending themselves. This can cause them to become distant, moody, irritable, or otherwise less than agreeable toward you.

And can you imagine if you actually succeeded in overpowering their personal will with your magic? Even if your magic is forcing them to feel or behave in a particular way, on a subconscious level they’re going to feel how out of alignment this behaviour is for them and they will, over time, become deeply resentful of you. 

The Path Of Least Resistance

Honestly though, you really won’t have to worry about much of that in the first place. Why? Because unless your love spell is really, really specific about who and what you’re going for, it’s likely to do something you hadn’t even considered.

See, magic is like water. It flows through the path of least resistance. Rather than going through or over large obstacles, it will flow under or around them. When you put a bunch of specifications on your intention, it’s like building a dam or creating walls to direct the flow of water. This can be a good thing! In some cases, these specifications help you get where you’re going in the way that suits you best. Other times, it’s like trying to force water to flow uphill. You’re just going to end up with a pond.

So what does this mean in the context of your love spells? Say you’re dating someone that you’re really into but they’re kind of lukewarm. Maybe they don’t spend enough time with you, maybe they don’t text or call enough (or ever), maybe they treat you like you’re kind of a given in their life. A back-burner person that they can hang out with whenever their other plans fall through. Obviously, being in a relationship like this sucks, it’s super painful to want someone who doesn’t seem to want you back! 

Cue the love spell, you whip up some magic to turn your ho-hum lover into an adoring, romantic, and attentive partner.

Then tragedy strikes. Rather than turning your lover into the man of your dreams, your relationship crashes and burns. What the heck?! That’s pretty much the opposite of what you asked for in your spell!

Well, not necessarily. See, if you’re focusing super hard on your intention to have a lover who is adoring, romantic, and attentive, it’s entirely possible for your magic to lock onto that idea, that feeling state that you’re asking for, and then subsequently trash your current relationship while still trying to give you exactly what you want.

If the person you’re dating just isn’t the kind of person who can be or wants to be what you’ve asked for in your spell, trying to change them into something they aren’t is like trying to get that water flowing uphill. It’s not likely to happen. Knowing this, your magic is going to do the next best thing. It’s going to remove any blockages in between you and what you want (i.e. it’s going to trash your relationship) and it’s going to put a completely different person who matches your intention in your path.

Basically, when you cast a love spell and it causes your relationship to fall apart, it’s because that relationship was never going to be what you wanted it to be and your spell is bringing someone who is actually what you wanted into your life instead.

So What Do You Do Instead?

Honestly, I would suggest that you don’t do anything. If that is the result that you got from your love spell, then chances are you’re better off that way in the first place. 

I mean, lets be real, we’ve all had relationships that weren’t so great but if I described the relationship above and you felt like I was talking about you, guess what? Your relationship is emotionally manipulative and probably borderline abusive. And no, I’m not exaggerating here. If you’re constantly pining after someone who ignores you, never has time for you, looks down on you, or otherwise disrespects you, that person is not a good partner! No amount of magic is going to turn them into the person you want them to be because let’s face it, you don’t actually like them as they are right now! The person they are right now sucks, they don’t treat you well and they make you feel crappy. If your magic causes you to lose out on a relationship that makes you feel crappy and replaces it with one that’s actually supportive and loving then that is a GOOD thing!

Now, I know, this is a super hard truth to swallow. I’ve been there, it’s not easy to hear. Sometimes you really are better off letting these kinds of relationships go and not giving into the temptation to daydream about “what could have been”. Those daydreams are a lie. If that reality could have been real, you love spell would have worked. 

Yeah, after everything I’ve said above, it’s time to acknowledge that some love spells DO work. But the ones that work do so because the situation was right for it. The people involved both wanted to be together and wanted to be the kind of person that the other needed. This is the kind of love spell that results is a strong, healthy, long-term relationship. Both people have to be willing to commit themselves to the wellbeing of both people in the relationship and the health of the relationship itself. In these cases, magic is most likely to simply be sweeping away factors that are keeping the two people separate like distance, partners that aren’t a good match, fear, etc, not changing either of the people on a fundamental level.

So if you’ve done a love spell and it blew up in your face, count yourself lucky. Your magic just saved you from wasting your time with someone who was never going to be good for you in the first place. Focus instead on becoming an amazing partner for the amazing partner that your spell is lining up for you, they’re out there and your magic is bringing them to you faster than you know.

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Updated on August 20, 2023 by Avery Hart